Surely These Were Born In The Depths Of Hell And Released Only To Torture Me For Unseen Wrongoings

Pretty dramatic title for a post on our little mini-break up North, huh?

Well, it fits. Like a glove. But before I get to the little fuckers that tried to do me in these last 5 days (no, not my kids), let me begin by saying that we really had a great time. There was a tiny bit too much rain, and not enough beer, but the company was good, the water was warm, and I slept in until 9:30 EVERY morning! Yay!

Chris’ grandparents are truly adorable, and I love being in their home. They live full-time in the cottage that has been in the family since 1933, and though it has gone through many changes, it has all of the most charming qualities of an old cottage (that musty smell; mis-matched cutlery; a crazy layout thanks to countless add-ons), as well as all of the most charming qualities of an old people’s house (that musty smell; doilies; salad dressing in the fridge that expired in ’00).

Bee absolutely loves it there; partly because her great-grandparents cater to her every whim, and partly because she spends her time like this:

And this:

And this:

And when the kids were finally spending their time like this:

We would spend our time doing cottage-y evening things like reading, or doing this:

Lovely. Sigh.

But – and you knew this was coming – But..
We also happened to be there during four of the ten days that Satan unleashes his most disgusting of beasts onto the area of Northern Ontario that we were in. True, they do not bite, sting, pinch or nip. Don’t matter, because I freak out when they come near, and man, they are hard to avoid. So, yeah, I was a bit of a spazz.

Behold! Satan's evil henchmen!

Fucking shadflies! Oh, you don’t think that’s too bad, do you? Hrm? What about now?


Gah! It was a wonder I went outside at all. But I did. I even frolicked a little:

Seriously, there were lamposts that looked like they were covered in fur. Bleh. I get the heebiejeebies just thinking about it.

Anyway, eventually we had to go, and though we were sad to do it, we know we will be back up there soon. Who knows what to expect next time - locusts?

On the way home we even took the time to add to a wonderful Canadian tradition, and mark our trip with an Inukshuk left on a ledge of the Canadian shield:

Hope your long weekend was as nice as ours was, but with less of Satan's beasts. Happy Canada Day!

Oh, and hey, if you want to find out how we survive a total of 10 hours in the car with two tiny people, check out the story here.



  1. yo. Betch.

    I was up there.

    Remind me to tell you about Bookangel's shadfly obsession from a a few years ago.

    The worst is the smell of them in their teeming multitudes.

    That picture of the girls sleeping? frame it. now.

    and that pic of you frolicking is damn cute.

  2. chris the husbandJuly 02, 2008

    What kgirl fails to mention in the post is that they where constantly landing on her and she was constantly screaming. She even ran and abandoned her own baby at one point, although to be fair she couraged it up to pluck one that had landed on Dove.
    She was also mildly obsessed with the complete lack of purpose of the shadflies, other than tormenting her, and kept bringing it up.
    Shadflies don't bite, they have a lifespan of two days during which they barely move until they literally drop dead in front of you, they just hang off every surface all day. nothing much preys on them except maybe fish, but they only come out ten days of the year, so don't really make a reliable food source, they have no sense of self preservation, you just grab them by their tail and throw them on the ground where they stay until something steps on them, and even though they are born in the lake, most can't swim and countless drown before making it out to cover every non lake surface they can find, where once again, they do nothing. More purposeless a creature you have never seen.

  3. thank you, husband. i get caught up in the fact that they are ugly and sneaky and completely forget about their utter uselessness as a species. except to torment me.

  4. Sounds lovely - and me, as long as they don't bite, sting, or walk on eight legs, I'm okay. I think it as worth it for the frolicking though, no?

  5. Ew. Ew. Ew.

    Those things are disgusting.

    Glad you had a good time, despite the fuckers.

  6. The picture of your girls sleeping might just be my favourite photo of anyone's children (other than my own of course) I have ever seen....I would die for a shot like that of my own two gals. MMMmmmI have to go back and look at it again, love it.

  7. love the photos...and, you are such a cute little frolicker.

  8. You slept in till 9:30am?.... Bee-yotch.

    That nap picture is priceless. You simply have to frame it and put it on a wall. (In fact, send me a copy, and I'll do a pastel of it. It's so delicious!)

    Seriously, though, 9:30am?? I really hate you.

  9. ewwwww those bugs would have me running for cover too.

    despite that, it sounds like an amazing weekend.

    love love the shot of the girls taking a nap..very sweet.

  10. ew ew ew ew ewwwwwwwwwww I don't care what their purpose is, or lack of, it sounds like ew ew ew ew ew and borderline Stephen King without the blood. Anything in a swarm (bees, ladybugs, blogtrolls) are disgusting to deal with.

    But OMG your girls are so freakin' cute (that nap picture made my heart explode) and Bee's Inukshuk makes this post the most awesome Canada Day post I've read.

  11. Hey, I used to LIVE there! Shadflies ARE disgusting. They really, really are. But they're really place specific - we don't ge them here.

  12. That picture of the kids sleeping is positively sublime.

  13. I saw your post title on Cheaty Monkey and had to swing by to see what was up. I used to live on the St Lawrence and we used to have to sweep them up after they died. it was nasty. They are nasty. Can you imagine riding a motorcycle when those things are out. EWWWWWE

  14. Yuck...those things would have me running too!

    Other than that sounds like a wonderful time was had!!

    And yes frame that picture of the 2 sleeping, it's beautiful!!

  15. First of all, that picture of your daughters passed out on the bed is awesome. Looks like they had a TON of fun.

    Secondly, I was hoping to take the family on a short trip a few weekends here and there. When can I get one of those Shadefly thingies... They look like they seat four plus a pilot. Better than Air Canada I bet.

    Yikes. Those things are creepy. Satan's Henchmen. HE HE HE. You make me laugh.

    Glad to see a nice time was had by all.

    Did you toss the salad dressing that expired in 2000, or are they keeping it for the medicinal qualities?

  16. Those flies are totally gross. However we've just spent a week with blackflies so bad we didn't even notice the mosquitoes. Its a tough call between gross useless thing on your baby and rivulets of blood totally freaking me out on mine.
    We were just over five hours and discovered k gets car sick now. what fun. I'll click over to see your story - I'm impressed you did ten.


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